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Things to do and not do when apologizing

7/27/2021

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Avoid:
-using the word "but" as it can invalidate a sincere apology. (I'm sorry that I...but")
-using the word "if" as it can suggest that a hurt never happened. (I'm sorry if you felt hurt...)
-justifications and explanations as it can muddy up an apology and cause confusion.
-generalizing with vague wording as it can sidestep taking responsibility.

Instead:
-first listen to the person's hurt and understand it from their perspective.  Repeating is a great way to communicate that you understand and can also clear up any misunderstandings. (I heard you say....)
-own up to your wrong doing and assume responsibility.
-be specific in your apology for the action and words that offended the other person.
-make proactive attempts to rectify a conflict if you are in a position to do so by "making up" for the wrong doing.

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  • Home
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    • David Ha-LMFT
    • Katy McDonald-LPC
    • Values
    • Services >
      • Couples Counseling
      • Individual Counseling
      • Children's Counseling
      • Pastors Counseling
      • EMDR
    • Issues >
      • Depression
      • Anxiety
      • Relational Conflict
      • Family of Origin
      • Life Transitions/Trauma
      • Premarital
      • Pornography
      • Behavioral Issues
      • ADHD
    • Telehealth
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