Family of Origin Counseling

If we know where we came from, we better know where to go. If we know who we came from, we may better understand who we are."
Attachment is the first bond we form with our primary caretaker. We know from research that that bond first begins in the womb.  It's not wonder why who we are today, often resembles our caretakers, whether we want to admit that or not.  

There are 4 major styles of attachment that people form in early life that we generally carry on into adulthood.  Understanding your personal attachment style and how your family of origin brought that about, is key to helping you have the awareness to protect yourself from blind spots as well as connect with your partner/loved one.

The 4 styles are: secure, dismissive-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied, and fearful-avoidant (or disorganized).

Secure: This attachment style summarizes someone who has a positive view of self, and a positive view of others. It typically results from experiencing a history of caring and responsive relationships. Those who have a secure attachments tend to feel comfortable with intimate relationships.

Dismissive-avoidant: This attachment style summarizes someone who has a positive view of self, yet a negative view of others.  This individual often denies needing any close relationships--they tend to suppress/hide their feelings and tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the source of that rejection.

Anxious-preoccupied: This attachment style summarizes someone who has a negative view of self, yet a positive view of others.  Such individuals often doubt themselves and blame themselves for the attachment figure's lack of warmth and emotional responsiveness.  They tend to exhibit high levels of emotional dysregulation, anxiety, and impulsiveness within their relationships.

Fearful-avoidant:  This attachment style summarizes someone who tends to have an unstable view of self and others.  Such individuals tend to view themselves as being unworthy of love and emotional attachment, while also have a challenging time trusting the intentions of those attachment figures.  As a result, such individuals don't seek intimacy and tend to deny their own emotions and feelings.
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